He's older now than when we first met nearly thirty years ago

He was older then whilst I was just a girl of eighteen years

And he was a man

I still recall how he looked that night, his laughter and his smile

A ride home in his mini - I think I loved him then

But I can't be sure

The years passed by then illness brought him down

The thought that he could have died left me terrified

A realisation of things unsaid

Oh I knew he would never be mine, that I would never taste his kiss

I knew I would never waken from sleep wrapped in his arms

Maybe I should have kept quiet

Yet still I had to tell him - he stood in silence

Leaning against the doorframe as the words just tumbled out

My heart in my mouth

He could have walked away - he could have rejected my love

But he didn't - deep down I knew he wouldn't

I was right to trust this man

When I am with him it feels so right

But I would never cross the line, though at times

Temptation rears its head

Better to have him in my life as I have for all these years

My friend and my confidant - sharing the good times and bad

Better that than not at all

I'm glad I didn't realise it was love that first night

He was older than me then - he would have walked away

And I was only eighteen

So many years have passed on which to build our relationship

He's still older than me and my heart still jumps when I look at him

But at least I'm not eighteen anymore

Copyright Pat Brogan 2002