More Than a Feeling
Perhaps it's a function of being an introvert, or someone who is frequently solitary. Maybe it comes from fear of burdening others or not believing that they have my best interests at heart. Whatever the reason, I trust my gut more than any advice I've ever gotten, more than any perspective or point of view that could be offered.
My gut has never failed me, even when I've failed it.
The craziest, stupidest, best things I ever did were supported by my gut and nothing else, and they turned out to be the perfect, right, unquestionable choices I absolutely should've made. This is how I chose a college, and the reason I moved 600 miles from home on 10 minutes notice. It's how I decide whether to take a new job or which unfamiliar road seems most likely to get me where I'm going. There is something inside me that knows answers I haven't yet asked, and turns me toward the right way.
On the rare occasion that I've thrown myself at the fates by ignoring what my gut was telling me, I've been rewarded with frustrations and failures that serve only to reinforce the supremacy of my innate, subconscious, non-logical thinking. My gut would tell me to take off the damn heels if I were being chased by a zombie. My gut would say, "Not the fish" in a questionable restaurant. My gut is fierce.
But sometimes, by which I mean right now, my gut is all-knowing in a way that even I can't quite believe. I keep asking it, "Gut, are you sure? Do you want to think it over a little more?" but my gut keeps telling me what it has to say, knowing that eventually I'll listen.
"Gut, can you give me a break here? You might be omniscient, and far be it for me to not concede your flawless track record, but goodness you are pushy sometimes." Gut says, "Yeah, but you need it."
Tue Aug 14 13:43:50 EDT 2007
I'm thinking this today: life is a highway, I want to ride it all night long. Okay, not so original, but definitely applicable. And since this is the last day of my 31st year, I wish to give reverence to more applicable but less well-known words. Here are the two poems that inspired (or conspired) me to change my life. If you don't get it, still, call me and I'll read them to you over the phone. The part where my voice breaks? That's the important part.